So let’s talk about it. What some people don’t know is that as much as being down, wanting to be in bed all day and not eating much (or over eating) are signs of depression and other mental illnesses so is excessive happiness and a lot of other usual symptoms so to help you here are some of the warning signs to look for in yourself and in others.

1. YOUR ROUTINE IS EMPTY.

You may find yourself with no motivation to begin anything enjoyable and you’re just going about your day like a pre-programmed robot.

2. YOU MAY ACT UNCHARACTERISTICALLY

Thing is, depression and unhappiness have some weird effects. For example, insomnia is one of the symptoms of depression but excessive sleep is also one of the symptoms of depression. Strange, right? It could be anything and it differs from person to person. Some will pretend to be happy and smile with you (Smiling Depression) but be quiet and down when they are alone. Some will not try to hide it as much and will look reserved, rarely smile even with people around. Some will stop enjoying things they like. Like, lose interest in video games, for example.  Others will, again, escape from depression by putting themselves in easy and fun situations, reading books, watching movies or playing video games. Point is, you can never know.

3. WORK

Some might work less. Laziness and lack of interest often come with depression but others will drown themselves in work, trying to escape the unwanted reality.

4. WEATHER

SAD or Seasonal Affective Disorder, is something that affects peoples mood every year, as winter rolls around we see less sunshine, receive less Vitamin D and as such our mood suffers.

5. ANGER

Some people cannot cope with their over-bearing emotions and as such we go to the easiest emotion there is to use. Anger.

6. DRUGS AND ALCOHOL

Alcohol is a depressant. You drink to hide your pain/discomfort but the more you drink, the worse you’ll feel and it becomes a vicious cycle. I have known people use drugs as a means of escape and be so afraid to be ‘sober’ because they don’t want to know what kind of damage they have done to themselves and they certainly don’t want to deal with the underlying emotions they covered up in the beginning.

7. SITUATIONAL

Situational Depression can be sourced back to an event. A divorce, a death, a job loss. Whatever the future you envisioned was is now gone and you don’t know what the future holds. It’s a time of uncertainty and often times, fear.

Many people have no idea how to help someone who is dealing with a mental illness, whether that is somebody with a short-term bout of depression relating to a situation or someone with a long-term mental health issue - both require love, re-assurance and kindness by the supporting party.

TALK

Be aware that although you may have noticed that somebody you love has been showing signs of having a mental health problem they may not be aware themselves yet or worse they may have known in themselves for a very long time and are afraid to admit they need help or even want to accept help.

This would not be the point for an intervention, the person will probably feel backed into a corner and is likely to hide their feelings more.

Have one person approach the subject; here is a good starting point;

“I feel as though you have not been yourself lately, you have been (enter 1 or 2 symptoms here, not eating much, sleeping a lot, disconnected from usual activities) and I am concerned, so I thought we could have a chat and see if there is something that’s bothering you?”

Fingers crossed, the person will engage in conversation with you from this point but in most likelihood they will say nothing is bothering them and they are fine, just tired/overworked/stressed. Should this be the case try not to press the subject, you have dropped the seed that you you have sensed something may be troubling them and this in turn will drop the seed in their mind that how they have been acting is noticeable and may help them to look inside themself and discover what the issue is.

If they do open up to you, try not to put too much advice onto them unless they specifically ask for it. Instead be reassuring.

“That does sound as though you are going through a hard time and I want you to know that I love you and I will help you in anyway I can.”

“Is there anyway that I can help ease your stress?”

If the person has children sometimes it is the greatest relief to just get a night off, or even a few hours, to have a nap, a bath without kids shouting your name, to watch a movie without pausing it 300 times, it’s all in the small things, so why not offer to take the children to the park for an hour, to a soft play area, for a sleepover? Those few hours or single night can really make all the difference to a worn out parent(s) and if it is a two parent family then that bit of time can help them reconnect with the fact that they are not just parents, they are adults, they are a couple and they are strong human beings.

When I was in a very bad numb, depressed and anxious state my parents came to my house. My Dad took myself and my son out to lunch and my Mum did my housework for me. The lunch probably cost £30 for all of us and my Mum cleaning my house cost nothing but my house had been something that was really getting me down, everyday I would look at the state it was in (dishes that needed to be washed, piles of clothes that needed to be cleaned, folded or ironed, vacuuming that needed to be done and toys that needed to be put away, etc.) and I just didn’t have the energy to do anything about it, it was like standing at the bottom of mountain and I couldn’t even take the first step. I would just sit down and stare at it hoping that somehow the top of the mountain would come to me instead. It didn’t.

What my mother did was such a simple thing; she didn’t do everything for me. She vacuumed. Washed up and wiped down the sides. Folded the clothes and put the toys away. But from her doing that, I was able to see that actually if I could just do one thing, then that’s one less thing that I needed to do. She gave me the push I needed to remember that it wasn’t a mountain at all; it was more like a driveway.

Simple things like that can really help to show someone who’s struggling how much you care and just take a bit of pressure off.

FOOD

As stated above, many people with depression either overeat or don’t eat very much at all. I can vouch for the fact that when I was in a bad way I could go days without eating and not be hungry at all however when my Dad walks in with Dominos all of a sudden I really fancy a slice of pizza. Sometimes just having the food put in front of you, being able to smell it too, will remind you that you are in fact hungry.

My Dad would always say to me, “No wonder you’ve got no energy and you’re constantly tired, you need food to fuel your body and mind.”

This is not the same all the time and I wouldn’t recommend doing it for every meal, instead pick one, dinner is usually the best because it’s a full meal and it’s usually hot (which will help make you feel sleepy if you’ve been suffering with insomnia) not only that but smelling it being cooked will help remind your senses that you’re hungry.

With Eating Disorder Awareness and You Can Care week right around the corner, take note of your friends and family. Look at their current situations, pop round to your isolated neighbours for a cup of tea and some biscuits, cook lunch with a friend who seems to have withdrawn from social situations lately, conversation is the key, face to face, real conversations. We all need to be supported and loved and we all crave a connection with someone.

Spread a little love this week. Do a good deed. Share your positivity.